What your birth plan and Christmas wishlist say about you...

ARE YOU singing Mariah Carey yet? All I want for Christmas is youuuuu.

I used to imagine that everyone’s birth plan would be a bit like the dream-birth in my mind. It was hard to imagine that they’d want anything different, but people want what they want and birth plans are as unique as your fingerprint and your Christmas wishlist.

Right before we dive into that - if you’re not familiar with a birth plan, it is a summary of how you would like your birth to me that you prepare and share with your care givers. You’ll have heard people say that a plan goes out the window on the day. We talk about them as birth preferences because it is what you would love to have happen, and there’s an acceptance that you might not get everything on that list.

And that’s a bit like Santa right? You didn’t write your Santa list and go ape when you didn’t receive every single thing on it, did you? 😂 (maybe you did when your Sindy house or Sylvanian Families were a no-show!)

Friends of mine have such varied requests on this year’s Christmas list ranging from an ornate sterling silver teaspoon to a new laptop cover to one last hot chocolate and a walk with a friend who died suddenly. Apart from the latter most people wouldn’t thank you for an ornate teaspoon or the laptop cover and that’s brilliant because it means people are clear about who they are and what they’re about.

Birth plans are every bit as unique as your fingerprint and that’s exactly the point!

Although there is almost always some crossover we each have different wants and needs when it comes to birth. There are similarities in what makes most of us feel comfortable (dim lighting, soft voices, quiet environment) but for every woman who tells me she’d love a water birth I’ve had another saying absolutely no water.

For some women the thought of a c-section is their worst nightmare, and for others it’s a guarantee of certainty that they will get to meet their baby on X day and by Y time and that’s what they want. There is no right and wrong, and that’s the beauty of a birth plan. It’s YOURS.

By writing your birth plan you are considering all the options which better prepares you for the birth environment itself. Your birth plan is not a list of demands to be met or else, it is, in part, a psychological process that encourages you to consider all the options, know what you would feel most comfortable with, and think about what you would do differently if one of the other routes was the safest and best option for you and your baby on the day. You are familiarising yourself - just as young children get an orientation day before they go to school.

It’s a process of educating yourself. One of my first-time-mums was considering a home birth when we first started working together, then she decided she’d prefer the birth centre. On the actual day she laboured for hours at home then then went to the birth centre. After a few hours in the birth centre she needed some medical support and moved across. She told me afterwards that she was really thankful she had the opportunity to experience all three environments. She loved the comfort and security of being at home, the reassurance of the midwives being around at the birth centre, and the fact that in the hospital she felt that the team around her were taking decisive action (with her permission) and fully explaining what needed to happen and why. She felt safe and supported at an emotional and worrying time.

If she’d been told in her first trimester that she would definitely be in the hospital to birth she’d have hated the thought but through her preparation and real life experience she found all three helpful in different ways.

So, whether you feel like writing a birth plan or not trust that even IF every single bit goes out the window you’ve supported yourself to prepare emotionally for one of the biggest days of your life.

And, think about what’s on your Christmas wish list; what does it say about you? I don’t know what you think about starsigns but I’m a Capricorn and true to form I love a practical gift. There’s nothing that winds me up more than a present for the sake of it. If it’s a dust collector and I can’t use it, wear it, watch it, read it, eat or drink it chances are it’s a no from me. Novelty gifts are firmly out the window.

What’s on your Christmas wishlist? What does that say about you? Can you find a way to relate it to your birth plan? Think about the five senses: touch, smell, sound, sight, taste. What’s the dominant one on your ‘yes please I’d love this’ list? If it’s heavily scent based you might like to enjoy thinking about the scents you’d like for the day you give birth. Next time you catch yourself with a worry thought jump onto this and give it some thought instead - much better use of your time.

I’d love to hear what you come up with!

Drop me a line Sophia@sophiahanson.com

Big love beauties,

Sophia xx