5 Ways to Supercharge Your Birthing Confidence

Whether it’s speedy or a long drawn-out labour, giving birth is intense.

Here’s a kinder way to enjoy your pregnancy and prepare for the best birth possible.

1) Face up to your fears

Know what your fears are but don’t commit to them - no point going steady with FEAR! You won’t want to be hanging out with those scary thoughts forever. Once you know what they are commit to taking action so that you can find truth, evidence against your fears, and learn from the positive experiences of other women who have gone before you. So many of our thoughts about birth are based on OLD ideas and beliefs that are simply NOT TRUE, or they’re based on our own lack of knowledge about HOW the body and mind function TOGETHER during labour and birth. Find a reliable source (hello!) and learn from their expertise and experience. I’ll share a great birth story at the end.

2) Recognise where you’ve faced uncertainty before

One of the trickiest things when preparing for birth is you don’t know exactly what you are preparing for. When will it start? Will the labour be long (who defines long), will it be short. Will your waters break during labour? Will you have a vaginal birth, a c-section? Will intervention be recommended? Who will your midwife be? Will you want pain relief or not even feel the need for it? There is so much to consider.

I encourage that you get familiar with your birth preferences (how you’d love for it to be), but beyond that it’s really about knowing how you want to feel and how that will support you in labour - for most women this is a combination of calm, confident relaxed, informed and powerful.

Refer back to times when you have faced uncertainty in the past and how you coped then. Tap into whatever you did that was supportive, and consider what you might need to do differently if you were freaking out.

3) Move your body

When you get stuck in worry thoughts your body slumps or tenses and sends out stress hormones which causes thinking to spiral negatively because your breathing is more shallow, less effective and your body is in fight or flight mode. Get up and MOVE. Decide what you need to do for your mind (reach out for support, read a book, learn) and then get up and move. Do prenatal yoga or pilates or go for a walk. Dance. Swim. Do something that feels good to you. I teach LIVE yoga classes in The Prenatal Snug on Tuesday evenings. Full info here.

4) Notice the parts of birth that you DO FEEL confident about

Think about those often and notice why you feel so good about these. How can you apply that confident and reasoning to the parts that worry you? Even if you think you don’t feel confident about any of it chances are if you dig deep enough you do - perhaps it’s as simple as attending all your hospital appointments or knowing how to touch your baby. Maybe you just feel that you’ll pack a great hospital bag or that your partner will be a great support. These still matter. If you really can’t think of any parts you feel confident about think of anything you do well and why you feel confident about that? How did you get so good at that? What do you believe about it? How can you transfer this to how you think about birth? There are some days the only thing you feel confident about is your ability to make a slice of toast. Honestly, that’s enough!! Focus on how good you are at that and transfer that confidence over! Number 5 coming up below.

5) Relax

I’m not being cheeky. When you physically and emotionally relax there is no real place for worry to hang out. Since worry comes from thought or prompted by cellular memory moving your body, breathing, having a focus that isn’t the worry helps them trot off into the distance. When it comes to birth knowing HOW to stay calm and relaxed is pivotal to you having a better birth physically and emotionally. It’s not about denying your fear, it’s about recognising that there will be parts that feel out with your control and allowing fear to take over will make it all even more challenging (and increases chances of a longer labour, of needing unwanted intervention, of tearing). Learning how to relax into birth will dramatically increase your chances of a better birth. It’s normal to feel fearful but it’s not helpful and it impacts on your pregnancy and birth. I’ve supported women who have started out pregnant life feeling anxious at the thought of a baby coming out of their vagina. Through our work together they’ve gone on to have happier pregnancies and positive births.

I hope that's super helpful lovely. You’ve got this.

Sophia xx

PS - know that there are very few women out there who find out they’re pregnant and shout out ‘Yippee I can’t wait to give birth’. If they’ve had an amazing experience or heard amazing stories then YES they will. In the main women welcome support around birth in the same way that you don’t just go out and run a marathon with no training or mental preparation.

PPS - want to hear what first time mum Roxy had to say about birth? She loved it so much she wants to do it ALL AGAIN. 💕