4 HUGE Reasons to Say NO to Online Hypnobirthing
Are you wasting your money with online hypnobirthing courses?
Let’s define online.
You can buy online PASSIVE courses where you are entirely learning from pre-recorded material at your own pace.
And…
You can invest in LIVE, INTERACTIVE courses where you turn up at a time and interact with a real person, a professional, and have their ONGOING SUPPORT.
Both have their place but as a birth coach, a hypnobirthing and prenatal yoga teacher experience tells me there are five tiers to how people learn and benefit the most:
1) In person private or group sessions where possible
2) Very closely followed by online LIVE & INTERACTIVE (one to one or in a group)
3) Online passive (distance) learning with videos, audios, text, exercises to do at home
4) Reading a book
5) Googling and hanging out on youtube and random forums (which routinely cite personal experience as fact = bad idea).
WHY is PASSIVE learning NEVER the best route?
You cannot be certain if you understand all the most important
The information is NOT targeted specifically to you
No-one is available to explain something in more than one way to guarantee you have got it locked in (I can tell just by glancing at someone when something is still worrying them)
You can do 20 things at once and miss really important points without realising
You cannot gauge emphasis as effectively - yes I bolded that word but it still lacks the passion it’d have had if I said it out loud and waved my arms about in the air!
You do not get the same sense of comfort without a person you can interact with
Out of sight out of mind - you buy with good intention, then nada. Netflix rules.
You get completely distracted and start checking your phone with the birth-changing info on in the background!
I am embarrassed to think about how many courses are lying dusty on my hard drive. Probably hundreds and I am an incredibly enthusiastic and committed learner!! You?
I have had hypnobirthing clients who paid for a digital learning pack and didn’t go beyond the second or third video because there was no CONNECTION, no accountability, no space for them to interact. Instead they shelved it and came to me for LIVE & INTERACTIVE classes.
4 HUGE Reasons to say no to online hypnobirthing courses
1) YOU DESERVE AND NEED TO BE HEARD
Birth education, birth know-how is really so much MORE than just that. Passive learning is like lurking in a big crowd too timid to put your hand up. You might think it’s time efficient but I’ll bet you’ve had to go back through a couple of videos more than once because you’ve been texting or lost in a daydream.
When you SHOW up for a class where you are expected to actually be involved YOU will benefit so much more. Sometimes you don’t KNOW what you think until someone asks you. You’ll hear your partner articulate something for the first time and it’ll bring you closer to each other or open up a whole new conversation.
You deserve to BE HEARD, to explore your hopes, dreams and fears in a safe space. Part of preparing for birth is opening up, stepping up, taking responsibility - and honestly, OPENING UP is exactly what you need to do on the day you give birth.
If you are in a group you also learn from other people’s questions and ideas. Reading comments on social media is not the same if you have no idea if that person is even remotely similar to you or for that matter has so much as an ounce of brain cells.
First time Mum Bryony and her partner Ant came to a class of mine. Bryony had tipped me off that Ant was quite against the whole hypnobirthing but she wanted to see if he’d come. Imagine her surprise when on the way home Ant raved about how amazing it was and how he’d always thought birth was a medical event that had to take place in a hospital. Guess who was asking to listen to the relaxations each day after work? Ant. Guess who committed to a full course and went on to have an amazing birth? Byrony of course!
2) YOU, MY LOVE, DESERVE SPACE, TIME & SUPPORT
Without getting all hippy about it you’ve allowed your body to receive the gift of pregnancy and you’re growing a baby. Amazing.
You’re about to give birth - an experience LIKE NO OTHER. It is life changing.
How about you also allow yourself to RECEIVE WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE but more than anything, SUPPORT? SPACE for you to BE. You will be begging for this once your baby is here! Enjoy it now. Plus, who is going to be there for your random questions if you’re online? An admin, someone who earns £10 an hour to respond to your facebook messages? Or the teacher you learn from? Who will respond to your WhatsApp message the day you’re in labour and share some support.
I KNOW, because I have also done it, that you will READ about a breathing technique, mentally say yes I can do that, and then forget all about it. FAIL. YOU NEED to practise, and be guided through effectively. As a prenatal yoga teacher I can tell you there is so much more to it, tiny tweaks that get the best out of the breath, that you just cannot get from video or a book.
3) IT’S TIME TO SLOW DOWN
From years of teaching antenatal classes I can safely say pregnant women are among the BUSIEST in the world and it’s time to slow down and BE PRESENT. Your baby will NOT be hanging out in his or her nursery all the time. He or she will NOT know that you don’t yet have the cute Winnie the Pooh sleep suit. He or she will NOT be upset the living room is not freshly painted or the kitchen cupboards cleaned out.
Nesting is a pregnancy passion and all those things are LOVELY, and they’re useful to help you keep mobile and help get baby into a good birth position, AND they’re also some of the BEST AVOIDANCE strategies I know of. From a woman who’s run her own business for 10 years trust me when I say that my house is always tidiest when I have a tax return to complete!!
Make time to do a course, make time for you, your partner and your baby to bond during a course - to be a family, not a busy crazy family always chasing its tail.
Slowing down helps you to feel more calm - or address the fears that have been lurking (which helps you have a better birth). It also reframes your mind from deadlines and must-do into a more flowing way of living - you will want FLOW on the day you give birth NOT DEADLINES! Experience it now.
4) BIRTH IS A SOMATIC EXPERIENCE
When I teach I teach more than just to the intellect. We MOVE the BODY, the BREATH and together these help SHIFT the mindset so that you FEEL more calm and confident about birth. You cannot just LEARN how to give birth, you need to embody the feelings and the movements so that they are second nature to you.
Even now, I still have Mums and Dads say to me ‘Sophia, I remember when you…’ and it will be about the way that I said something, or demonstrated a technique, or got them involved.
We rely way too much on our intellect, and brain when it comes to birth. Start listening to YOUR BODY. YOUR BODY is the one to guide you on the day but we ignore it and override sensations because we OVERTHINK. Ever got a numb butt sitting down for too long? Your butt told you. And you probably overruled it and said ‘I’ll just finish this one thing… go to the loo in a min etc etc’ It’s time to change and do things differently. Your body is your GPS IN BIRTH. START LISTENING TO IT.
Research already shows that your baby is learning HOW TO BE during your pregnancy. You are their role model 100%. of the time. If you are teaching your baby to be active all the time and to keep busy that’s the energy they’re picking up on. They will sense that tension because it’s in the hormones you are releasing back into your body. It’s in your breathing, your voice, your movement. Create space for family life now. You’ll be thankful that you did.
IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE
Money is often a concern when it comes to investing in birth prep courses. It needn’t be. Substitute a pile of that new baby gear you’re buying (that your little one will likely never wear) and invest in YOU instead. How YOU feel, how YOU are, how YOU birth will have a way bigger impact on your baby than any sleep-suit ever will. If all you can afford is a book or a passive course go for it, it’s better than nothing.
And if you’re ready for an in-depth programme that will help you:
Know how to get your body and mind working together in birth (not against)
Know how to have a shorter labour, less risk of tearing, less pain
Know what your birth partner can to do support you
Know how to stay calm no matter what
Know the right questions to ask if your birth path takes an unexpected turn
Feel prepared, informed, calm and relaxed (proven to help reduce pain)
Understand good birth positions (helped by gravity, less risk tearing)
It will also challenge your birth partner to step up and get involved, best to know now if you’ve got a shirker!
Know how to take charge of your birth path from the get-go… then…
